now though, I am back. And happy. And falling in love with this city...
Consumerist culture may be at the heart of America these days, but I believe it is at the heart of my hell. As I wonder when our track of priorities derailed, I admit I see the excitement state-of-the-art technology, mass money, and massive manpower can create. Do the children feel the crowds, frantic parents, illusion, lines, chaos and excess of skin as I do, or do they really feel Disneyland is "the happiest place on earth?"
The growth I am experiencing must be serious. Why else would I be compromising myself so? I thrive by traveling and living independently. Now I live a life where my days and seeming existence are mapped out by others. (I recognize the family must also make compromises to take me/others onboard.) I recognize I am getting paid to travel, live and eat well, intimately examine the insides of a family(&myroleinit), and save mad $$$. ....
as I am paid to smile through my struggles I wonder how many have learned to smile through(accept) their days and suppress their struggles, assuming their outward actions/accomplishments take precedent over their ultimate happiness. Honor thyself.
I met a beetle beauty. I think I have only ever seem him on t-shirts and calenders, but today I made his acquaintance. I don't know his name, because it has been left in my field guides, which reside in Ohio. I assumed him dead and assigned him my partner in crime as we listened to Cinderella tell her story(inavoicethatmakesyouwanttovomit). The girls' mother did not share my enthusiasm, and told me I should have been born a boy. I wanted to tell her this has nothing to do with gender, only an interest in the pure. Holding onto this connection to the past, I felt all the wonder of the world embodied in this little guys intricacies. Then as I peered into my hands I was surprised to see him briefly say hello, before his hind legs flicked into their final slumber. I slid him into my RayBan case, and knew he would coat my eyeglasses with some of his shimmer.
*The family entrusted many semi-important cards, papers, clothes, money to me... and I was so proud to surprise myself and not lose any of them... but. of course. on the way to the airport i left my camera in the taxi. - so you don't get to see Cinderella or the beetle...
1 comment:
Hi I just discovered your blog, and I have enjoyed reading it. I was in Turkey in July and it seems the consumerism is just as alive and well there in many ways. There is a lot of money there these days and people are buying new cars and lots of fancy clothes. And everyone seems to be updating their kitchens with the latest and greatest! And many young people will spend a fortune just to have the latest fancy car, even if it does cost twice or in some cases three times as much as the same car would in the US because of the fees and taxes. The Carrefour in Istanbul was packed and people were buying all sorts of stuff.
The Turkish people I know who come to visit US go nuts at the malls and stuff their suitcases with as much as they can, sometimes even buying more suitcases to get it all in. I think the prices are starting to come down a little bit for some things in Turkey so they are beginning to shop just as much in their own country too. It is sad in someways to see a younger generation there shopping like we do in America, but it does stimulate their economy so I guess it can't be the worst thing.
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